Cant sleep and dwelling on stuff

Been awhile since i lasted wrote in my blog..i been out tonight with my baby sister we went to a club on mcr called brannigans had a great night out enjoyed spending time with my baby sister getting pissed and having fun!!

Then the guilt set in babysitter rang to say little lewis was scratching his legs and had made himself bleed badly so i jumped in taxi to get home asap his legs are ok but i feel guilty for leaving him ..

My poor baby has so many health problems it hurts to think about how many he has if it aint his asthma playing up it his excema playing up like tonight then last week i found out part of his breathing problems r due to his left vocal chord being damaged docs think damage was already there when he was born and cos it been so long there is big ump on his vocal chord so next step is another sedation and MRI scan.

His nursery place has been put on hold the local school feel he b better of at special needs school and i do agree but it gonna hurt to seperate my boys in september and i dont know how they cope being seperated.. just wish i could get diagnosis now of what forn of autism he has so i can help him more.

On good point Adam's violence has calmed down loads he is hardly violent towards me or the other kids now which is good.

Ex hasnt been in contact since i told him to accept the contact i was offering him he didnt even bother ringing to see how Lewis went on at hospital...it looks like he gonna let kids down easter and not get them egg each i just dunno what to do regards him any more my kids are suffering cos of him they miss their daddy and it me who they ask questions of how can i tell them daddy is so madly in love with his own world and life he dont wanna know them so i end up having to lie to them it jst not fair ..... All i want is for my kids to b happy yet the ex is making them sad and i hate him for that!!

Me im happy with life at the moment barring my kids problems and kids sadness... the kids are my life and they will always be first no matter what but it is nice to have space to do my own thing and enjoy myself!

The psychology instructor

The psychology instructor had just finished a lecture on mental health and was giving an oral test.

Speaking specifically about manic depression, she asked, "How would you diagnose a patient who walks back and forth screaming at the top of his lungs one minute, then sits in a chair weeping uncontrollably the next?"

A young man in the rear raised his hand and answered, "A basketball coach?"

Smoking fags!!!!!

Baby If You Smoke
Words and Music by Jonny Olsen

Pull out your pack take a stack from the rack
Smoke out big wack till you cough and you hack
Then your gums turn black and your teeth get plack
Then you fall in your sack and get sick and then you yack
Well you go insane if it planes to your brain
Everything you eat just tastes all the same
'Cause it ain't no game like running in the rain
When you smoke too much you get nothing but pain
'Cause you can't get enough of all that stuff
Smoke a but everyday it will make you really tough
You grab it in your hands and you shove it in your trap
Don't worry about your health just smoke it like that
Like that

Chorus:
That's where it's at
When you smoke it like that
Baby if you smoke, you will choke
It's no joke, so take a toke, you will croak

Now smoke a big log like a really big hog
Make a lot of fog as you blow it out your nog
Your arteries clog when you trog at a jog
The frog in the bog puts a hole in your cog
Your lungs were pink but now they're on the brink
Of sounding like a sink with a really bad clink
But it's not all that just like you would think
You walk all around with a really nice stink
'Cause you can't get enough of all that stuff
Smoke a but everyday it will make you really tough
You grab it in your hands and you shove it in your trap
Don't worry about your health just smoke it like that
Like that

Chorus

You look really cool when you weeze and you drool
And you don't give a jewel if you feel like a fool
And you stand on your stool and you think that you rule
Over a pool of mules and really dumb fools
But you feel a big thrill when you sit really still
On the top of your hill as you smoke a big bill
But it takes a lot of will to smoke not a nill
'Cause if you don't really know cigarettes can kill
'Cause you can't get enough of all that stuff
Smoke a but everyday it will make you really tough
You grab it in your hands and you shove it in your trap
Don't worry about your health just smoke it like that
Like that

Rare Tigers Threatened by Economic Crisis, WWF Says

NGS photo of Amur tigers by Michael Nichols

Loggers in Russia's Far East increasingly are cutting down Korean cedar pine, raising concerns that the endangered Siberian (or Amur) tiger could lose critical habitat and its prey could lose a major food source, the conservation charity WWF said today.

"Under pressure from the ongoing economic crisis, loggers are turning to the more lucrative Korean cedar pine (Pinus korajensis) as commodity prices for other types of wood fall, which in turn has led to large-scale illegal logging operations in the Ussuriiskaya taiga in Primorye," according to a statement released by WWF-Russia.

"Chinese importers of the Far Eastern wood have sharply dropped prices and demand for oak and ash wood as an answer to the world crisis," said Denis Smirnov, head of the forest program at WWF-Russia's Amur branch. "These species were the most desired ones for poachers before, but the demand was reduced after export customs duties for these species of timber had been increased from February 1."

"At the same time, Korean pine wood is still highly demanded both in domestic and international markets and is sold at rather high prices," Smirnov said.

Russia's Far East Korean cedar pine forests were heavily logged during the second half of the 20th century, particularly in the late 1990s, which resulted in a 50 percent reduction and left only around seven million acres (three million hectares) of the forests today, WWF said.

Although P. koraiensis is not nationally protected in Russia, its logging is either prohibited or regulated in certain provinces of Russia and China. "However, loggers typically exploit loopholes in regional regulations to launder illegally logged wood, often taking advantage of lax customs controls or by under-declaring the volume of legal exports," the statement added.

"This rampant and mindless logging is shocking and disturbs the habitat and prey base of some of the rarest animals in the world including the Amur tiger and Amur leopard," said Susan Lieberman, director of the Species Programme for WWF-International.

Bronx Zoo Introduces African Lion Cub to New York Public

Moxie, the African lion cub in this picture, made her public debut at the Bronx Zoo in New York yesterday.

"An adult male named M'wasi and young adult female, Sukari, were introduced to each other in 2008 as part of a cooperative zoo breeding effort," said a news statement by the Wildlife Conservation Society, the conservation charity that manages the zoo. "After the courtship, Moxie was born on November 6, 2008, weighing about 3 pounds at birth. Moxie could grow to be 350 pounds as an adult."

WCS photo by Julie Larsen Maher

"We have waited a long time for this birth," said Jim Breheny, WCS Director of the Bronx Zoo, in the statement. "She is definitely a scene-stealer with a spunky and playful personality. We are pleased to debut her on Earth Day. We are certain that Bronx Zoo-goers who are coming out for our WCS Run for the Wild this Saturday and the last weekend of our Earth Month celebration will enjoy seeing our new cub."

Lions live in grasslands and open woodlands across much of sub-Sahara Africa. Their Lion Island home at the Bronx Zoo's African Plains depicts this habitat. "This popular exhibit opened in 1941 to record crowds and is still an emblematic home for this icon species," WCS said. The exhibit showcases African wildlife in a predator-prey setting with a moat separating them.

WCS photo by Julie Larsen Maher

Across Africa, lions and other great predators are disappearing, according to WCS. "Until recently scientists believed there were 100,000-200,000 lions living in Africa, but a recent survey has found that the number has dropped dramatically to approximately 29,000 (IUCN 2006,) and most of these are living in protected national parks and reserves.

"Outside of these protected areas lions are being slaughtered at an alarming rate by people who kill them to protect their livestock," WCS added. "Ever-expanding human populations push people and livestock into the remaining lion range, causing habitat destruction and bushmeat poaching, which decimates wild prey and forces lions to depend on livestock for food. Unless urgent action is taken, lions may be completely wiped out from these unprotected areas."

Disney's Floral Kingdom Is All Abloom

Photo courtesy Walt Disney World Resort

At a time when some of the world's most famous botanical gardens are cutting back on staffing and exhibits, one enormous public landscape is celebrating spring with the cultivation of millions of blooms and hundreds of living sculptures: Walt Disney World Resort in Florida.

On a regular family visit to Disney World years ago, I was struck by the extent of the plantings that fill the 47-square-mile entertainment complex. In 2003, while on another family visit, I had the privilege of being shown around some of the 4,000 acres the resort landscapes.

As I wrote for National Geographic News after that visit (Inside Disney World's Landscaping Army), Disney's 750 horticultural professionals plant three million bedding plants annually and tend 175,000 trees and more than four million shrubs. There were 13,000 rose bushes alone. There were also 2,000 acres (800 hectares) of turf which keep an army of gardeners in full-time employment.

When I received details a few weeks ago about Walt Disney World's annual Flower and Garden Festival, I thought back to that visit and I contrasted it with the depressing news we have received of cutbacks at the New York Botanical Garden and other public gardens during the recession.

Photo courtesy Walt Disney World Resort

Most visitors to Disney World probably don't particularly notice the enormous landscaping effort between all the amusements. For me the gardens will always be one of the most important reasons to visit the place.